


in the end

by Nina_683



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, I Don't Even Know, I have like 5 other pieces to do why did I write this, M/M, kinda turns into crack in the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-17 14:03:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13660512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nina_683/pseuds/Nina_683
Summary: AU: Felix and Minho never come back.





	in the end

[1]

“I'm sorry but… Stray Kids will be debuting as 7.”

For a brief moment, there is silence. 

Minho’s hand falls slack from Felix's sweaty grip, and chaos descends upon the crowd. Felix ignores them, stumbling off the podium unsteadily.

Someone has started crying; Seungmin probably. He can hear the sounds of the sobs but the air is about as thick as blood in front of his blurry eyes, his gaze dimming.

Dimly, he hears the crowd protesting, shouting all sorts of obscenities at JYP, but the sound is distant and hazy in his disorientated state.

A pair of warm arms slip around him, and press his weary head into the crook of their neck. “I'm sorry,” Chan mutters, sniffing, “I'm so sorry.”

Felix smiles gently, patting his back. “You shouldn't be.” He says, breathing in the unique scent of mint and toothpaste Chan always seems to wear, burying his face in the boy's neck like a child.

The scent is comforting, and reminds him of their dorms and the practise rooms back in the studio. “You shouldn't be.” He says again, and closes his eyes when Chan starts shaking in his hold, sobs wracking his frame.

“I should be.”

#

[2]

He's done it again.

Hyunjin sets down the plastic plates and cutlery on the nearest chair and calls for Chan. “Hyung!”

Chan appears in the doorway with a tea towel slung over his shoulder and a bit of spinach by his cheek, but the frantic look in his eyes tells Hyunjin he shouldn't mention it.

He can distantly hear Woojin bustling around the kitchen, yelling at Changbin to stop touching the pan and burning himself. He remembers before, Felix would be the one to help Woojin and Chan in the kitchen.

Now it's just whoever is forced to do it.

“You bought 9 chairs into the dining room again.” He says quietly. “This is the fifth time.”

“Ah.” Chan stills, eyes on the floor. “Okay. I'll take it back.”

He walks past Hyunjin and grabs the two extra chairs with a grim expression, lifting them up. Before he can leave, Hyunjin grabs his forearm suddenly.

“Hyung, are you okay?” He asks, and when Chan turns to face him, he sucks in a breath of surprise. The leader's eyes are about the deadest thing alive enough to have the strength to die, and Hyunjin slowly releases his grip.

He's not even sure if he wants an answer anymore.

#

[3]

Their V-Live is awkward and strained, Jisung trying too hard to fill the Felix and Minho sized silences. Chan, who usually leads these is silent, staring off camera.

Jisung is the only talking, almost frantic in his pace. He's talking so fast and so frenzied even he can't understand his own words, and he's sure the fans can see the desperate look in his eyes.

He misses how comfortable it would be before to just collapse on a sofa together and film a live, Minho’s arms wrapped around his shoulders, his familiar lavender scent just inches away.

Now, he is cold even with a hoodie and a shirt, without Minho’s warmth by him.

He used to tell Minho to stop trying to kiss him on V-Live, even if it was only joking because he didn't want the fans to get the wrong idea. Minho would listen carefully and agree with a warm smile and crinkled eyes. 

The next live, he would do it again and laugh at Jisung's exasperated sigh.

Now, Jisung would give anything to have Minho try and kiss him again.

#

[4]

When Minho hears the announcement, he portrays no sign of surprise.

He nods. He expected it.

He's not the best singer, or rapper, and can't produce or write like 3RACHA, so why would he even expect to debut? The only thing he has is his dance, but he isn't that much better than Hyunjin so they're not missing out on much.

Minho sees Felix next to him, stumbling off stage, disorientated. The poor boy is in shock, staring around numbly.

He watches Chan engulf the smaller boy in his arms, and he whispers something to him in English, patting his back.

Minho looks away, and as he turns he faces Changbin's gaze head-on. The boy is standing still, arms by his sides. His eyes are shadowed by the overhang of his cap, but the glistening trail of tears down his cheeks is all too clear in the overhead lights.

He mouths something to Minho, first subdued, then, with fists clenched, he roars, “You promised hyung! You promised!”

Minho walks over to Changbin, wrapping his arms around his stocky frame. “I know. I know, I broke the promise.” He smiles softly into the crook of the boy's neck, the short hairs at his nape tickling Minho’s face. “It's okay.”

Quieter, Changbin repeats, “you promised.”

This time, Minho doesn't answer, trying to blink back the surfacing tears in his eyes.

#

[5]

Seungmin hates his room.

With Felix gone, he lies alone in the cramped dorm, with only his own heartbeat to fall asleep to. 

The room is clean, cleaner than it's ever been but he keeps obsessively going over it, vacuuming till his members hide the cleaner to stop him.

He brooms the floor, washes the windows, does everything he can to keep his mind off the empty bed opposite him. There are no more t-shirts lying on the chair, no more socks hiding under the bed, and really, he should be glad for it he tells himself.

Sometimes, he throws one of his own shirts across the floor, and convinces himself that it belongs to Felix, and he is there, sleeping peacefully just opposite him. The next day, he picks it up and repeats the routine, hating himself for this pathetic comfort.

His OCD ramps up even further, and he starts cleaning the other members’ rooms too, but nothing he does seems to satisfy the hollow monster in his chest.

He listens to his brain, turns the light switch 15 times before leaving a room and makes sure there is not a speck of dirt to be seen in the dorm, but it just feeds the monster.

It tells him that if he does this, they'll come back, and Felix will be waiting on his bed like usual when he comes into his room, and everything will be solved.

So he keeps obsessively cleaning and counting the turns of the light switch. His brain tells him to wash his hands, so he does, holding them under the tap so long they start to scab in places from the pressure.

Still, Felix's bed remains empty and Seungmin can feel himself slowly breaking like the scabs on his hands.

#

[6]

Woojin asks for Minho’s bed to be removed from the dorm.

Seungmin insists that it's throwing away part of the boy's memory, but he could frankly care less at this point.

He can't sleep another night next to the empty bed, a horrible reminder of their failure. Chan agrees, and they take it to the dump later in the week. They watch in fall into the pile of junk, and with it, Woojin can almost part of himself fall with it.

Their group is falling, and there's nothing he can do stop it.

There is no dance line left to speak of, and Hyunjin does dance V-Lives by himself, occasionally with Chan if someone manages to pull him out of his room.

They don't perform any of their old songs. They refuse to. 

He doesn't listen to any of them either. The mere sound of Felix and Minho’s voice is too raw and painful for him to bear. Sometimes, they put Hellevator on in the car, and they all fall silent when Felix and Minho's parts begin.

He's the main vocal, he thinks, listening to Minho’s rap. He could have helped him, should have helped him. Instead, he focused selfishly on himself, instead of helping his dongsaeng.

Some eldest member he is, he thinks bitterly.

If Hyunjin notices Woojin's grip on the car seat tighten, he doesn't mention it.

#

[7]

Jeongin feels if as if he's grown decades in the months without Felix and Minho.

It could've been him, not debuting with the rest of them. He'd been at risk of elimination several times throughout the show, and he half-wishes that he'd been the one eliminated in their place.

He agrees with the fan's comments; he doesn't deserve to debut. Jeongin knows that, yet he selfishly took the place of Minho who can dance, sing and rap, and Felix who is the life of the group, and more talented than he will ever be.

Sometimes he wonders if that's what the other members think too, and when they look at him they envision Felix or Minho in his place.

He wouldn't blame them. Even his own aunt is sceptical of his debut, asking if he thinks he’s really ready. 

He doesn't know the answer, and supposes he never will till he actually does debut.

Jeongin is sure of one thing though: it was always meant to be 9 of them up on stage together, and without two of their key members, Stray Kids is doomed to fail.

#

[8]

They're sitting in Chan and Changbin's shared room, working on a new 3RACHA track.

Jisung has long since fallen asleep, drooling from his open mouth. They moved him to Chan’s bed, where he lays curled up.

It's approaching the early hours of the morning when Changbin suddenly says, “I hate this.”

The steady scratching of Chan's pen against paper stops, and he looks over to the other boy. “What do you hate?” He asks, furrowing his brows.

“This. Everything. I don't want to debut. I don't want to make music anymore- it's just not fun. It's not even just Felix and Minho’s elimination, it's the survival show too and I just-” Changbin chokes up, “I can't enjoy making music anymore.”

“I know. I get you. The constant pressure to do well, the impossible standards and endless practise- how can you enjoy music after its moulded in such a lifeless form. It's not fun anymore, it's a routine.”

Changbin nods quickly. “Yeah, exactly. It definitely doesn't help that there are only seven of us.”

Chan sighs, rubbing his eyes tiredly. “I know. But what can we do?” He shrugs. “I've worked seven years for this, but now I don't even want to debut, now without them. My life goal has become meaningless.”

The beginning rays of sunrise peek through the curtains, fanning across Chan's face. The yellow rays highlight his deep eye bags and the hollowness of his cheeks.

“Then don't.” Changbin says suddenly.

“Huh?”

“You don't want to debut- so don't. Let's make a stand; it's all of us, or none of us.”

Chan starts laughing, that giddy, mad, one he does after one too many caffeinated drinks. “Okay.” He says, then again, “okay.”

#

[9]

Breaking News:

JYP'S new boy group, Stray Kids who were previously set to debut in 2018 are reported to have disbanded already!

Sources claim that the group will be staying with JYP, but will not debut in the foreseeable future due to a disagreement between the members and JYP himself.

Not much more is known on the matter, but we keep updating this story as we acquire new information. Thank you for reading, and what's your guess on the reason for the shocking split?

“Well.” Chan remarks, guiding his suitcase to the door as the other 6 trail behind him. “That didn't go quite as expected, but honestly I'm happier for it.”

They stand in front of the trainee dorms, taking in the familiar scenery. Jisung smiles, noting the mark on the wall from one his experiments is still there, a white chip in the manilla paint.

“At least we proved ourselves. In the end it really did come down 9 or nothing.” Hyunjin comments as Chan presses the doorbell.

“We didn't bank on losing though.” Changbin grumbles.

“It wasn't really a loss though, was it?” Woojin asks knowingly, and Changbin smiles with averted eyes.

They hear footsteps shuffle towards them, and Minho sleepily opens the door in his pyjamas, rubbing his eyes. He realises who is at his door as Chan gives a small wave and stumbles back in surprise.

“We’re home!” Chan states, smiling wide, and after a beat, Minho gently grins back.

“Welcome back.”

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know that ending was you can tell I was just trying to finish it at that point.
> 
> Also why can't I use it italics this is very distressing now half the words I want stressed aren't and the newspaper report is just confusing. Well done ao3.


End file.
